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  • Writer's pictureJudith A. Boggess


Updated: Feb 13, 2023

Do you use words (or thoughts) abusively toward yourself or others?

Psychologists say you can't see something in someone else unless you first recognize it in yourself.

A comment such as:

1. She's such a bitch. Have you ever acted like a bitch?

2. He is so stupid! Have you ever felt or been made to feel stupid?

3. My gawd, she's so fat! Have you never felt or been overweight?

4. I wish I could run away.

Please take pen to paper and add to this list. Be honest. For one week after you read the above, watch what your eyes, ears, and mouth send to your conscious mind and the thoughts that leap up. Try changing what you say to yourself or others with, "What I meant to say is_________.

Be kind. Have you ever thought about what has happened in your life that allows you to project this inward image onto another person?

Ask yourself, "What image am I projecting? What words do I use on myself sometimes daily which makes me my perpetrator of self-abuse?

Now, have I done or said things I wish I hadn't? Oh, gawd, yes. I know I have.

Absolutely. Shamefully. Hindsight is 20/20.

Learning about our occasional, thoughtless abusive behavior, as when words "shoot out of our mouth," is no excuse. Thinking before speaking is eye-opening, challenging, and life-changing for the better.

Did this resonate with you? Let me know. If you want to find out how to move past Abusive Self-talk and Projection onto others and into a resolution, I can help. Please message me at or on my Facebook page (Judith Boggess).

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